The Newsroom
by Kawada01987
Summary: What happends when your favorite anime charatcers get ripped and dissed at by an anchor who has the balls, update the second chapter is up
1. Chapter 1

**The Ripping and Dissing of the Whole Naruto characters**

_**Hello my name is Kawada01987 in this (sorry my spelling sucks ass) XX chapter some what of a story ripping on Naruto, I'll be giving you the people who you have some bad shit with some Naruto characters and believe me there are some of you out there that hate a certain Naruto character like Karin (man I hate that bitch wish she could die) so it will it take place in a studio in los Angeles, CA and it's a news room, it will be like a "the Daily Show with ---------**__**" and "**__**The ------t Report"…and the anchor who will do this kind of messed up comedy will be Ray Kawada and his trusty news crew and I hope you will enjoy this because there will be a lot of pissed off people and a lot laughs (I hope so, but you guys can be a help just give me some review and give me some things that will give this somewhat story a good laugh, and in Ray's first headline story… "Exposed: can sasuke uchiha be gay"**_

_**Some sources say yes while a pink haired kunochi say "who the fuck spread that rumor"**_

_**Well…give some ideas and one more thing**_

_**I don't own naruto and it characters**_

_**I don't own the daily show with --------t**_

_**I don't own the ------- re-----t**_


	2. Sasuke

I don't own Naruto or any other anime names will listed in here

Boys and girls get ready to get PO'ed (I hope)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the everybody is getting ready for their very first episode, Ray Kawada is in his dressing room eating sticky buns and drinking sake. You see Kawada is one of the new blood in the news world, he is said to be the best in the world, he was even thought of might beening in a major news channel but that didn't happened. You see…Kawada is the comedian in heart and there is the funny thing he likes to make fun of the famous, and anyone he pleases. In fact during his one of his stand ups, he actullay ripped on the Sakura Haruno (pop signer), saying that the only reason she got the famous because of 2 things, "one she is a flirt…and two she has those huge ass of hers." That caused a lotta controversial shit between Haruno and Ray Kawada. She said "I'll kick his ass," but that didn't work, and Ray vowed to make fun of every one out there. Even if it cost him his life… now thanks to some years of studying, getting informents and some facts, Kawada now has the facts that could make his brand new news-mockery show a success.

"**Kawada your on in five minutes**" said Paul, who was Ray Kawada's news friend and producer, he is the one of the richest anchors out there in the world and why you ask he is helping Kawada, lets just say he a good since of humor.

Kawada finally finished eating and drinking, he was 6'5, weighting in at even 300 lbs and he was a force in the newsroom, as he entered the news room, he saw everybody giving him the thumbs up and the good lucks, and then the camera guy gave out the "5…4…3…2…1…and we are live!!!!!!!!!"

"**AND COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM A HIDDEN STUIDO IN NONE OF YOUR BEES WAX (I HAD TO CHANGE IT)…THIS THE NEWSROON WITH YOUR HOST RAY KAWADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

**(CHEAP NEWS MUSIC BEGIN TO PLAY AS RAY TURNS HIS CHAIR AROUND TO FACE THE CAMERA)**

"**Hello and welcome to the very frist episode of the news room (crowd reaction) and I'm your host Ray Kawada and here is what is making news tonight (this is a fansty world so none of there may be some names from different animes are going to be popping out, so bear with me) more drugs were found in the apartment of Rukia Kuchiki after the actess was arrested on Friday while possing 2 bags of concaince and under the influence (showing in a car chase, then showing her in hand cuffs, and waving towards her fans)…which reminds me why no man will ever fuck her…(huge reaction) for the fear of them breaking her in half. In related news…Ichigo Kurosaki has started his anger management classes after a judge order him to take 30 hours of the class, (showing ichigo in a suit walking outside the courthouse) which you may have remember that Ichigo was involed in that fight with policeman after beginning pulled over (showing a video of Ichigo and the policeman fight in the streets)…hmmm I wonder what might happened in that class (showing an image of Ichigo in room full of beat up people, while wearing his hallow mask)…in other news and this is very stupid…today the police in Japan finally show the sketch of the person legitly raped Negi Springfield at his apartment 2 weeks ago, THIS is what they have to say…**

**/(Policeman) "We finally gotten the sketch of the pervert, she is a female…about 20 years old…has orange color hair, and has 2 different eyes colors…"/**

**(showing the policeman photo) are you fucking kidding me…it's Asuna for god sakes, look at her and at the sketch (showing both real photo of Asuna and the sketch) or I might be wrong or maybe it might be the other girls after all, he is living on a girls dorm, an it makes you think….is he gay or bi?? And speaking of gay we have our very first in dept look at first headline story…**

**Exposed: Can Sasuke Uchiha be gay?**

**And if you don't know who Sasuke Uchiha is, well he is a one of the hottest bachelors in Japan but recently one of many sources saying he might be on the wrong team…to look into this matter, our very own Jose Valdez has inside story of Sasuke Uchiha"**

**As the set became darker, José's voice begins to heared…**

"**Sasuke Uchiha…a famous rock star in both Japan and in America, he has the things we wanted in life, money, fame, and all the girls he want. He has a one of the biggest fan clubs in the world (showing girls screaming his name and media taking photos of him). He has won awards, gold records, and many sponsors. But what if this hottest bachelor has a private life, and dark one is so…that's what one of many sources are saying that Sasuke Uchiha maybe a homosexual…I went to one source that let us give an interview to the man who let out this story…one of the top journalist, Kabuto Y."**

**As the image went towards to the interview, the phones were ringing as ringing as loud, it was the fan girls.**

**Jose: So Kabuto, you were the one that published this story**

**Kabuto: Yes is true**

**Jose: So how did you that Sasuke might be gay**

**Kabuto: Well when I was driving my Toyota back to my apartment, I noticed a raven haired guy looking around trying to see if no one was around, that guy was Sasuke, why was he looking around, because he was entering into a gay club**

**Jose: Gay club, where was this "gay club" you're talking about**

**Kabuto: It's on West Hollywood, CA**

**(Voice over)**

"**West Hollywood….that has one of the most homosexuals in America; lucky Kabuto gave the address and hook us up with an interview with the owner of the club, and we asked how do know this stuff, he just said 'I'm also homosexual.' What wonders he waited in the club…so I went there with our camera crew and entered the night life in the club (José enters the club with his business suit)"**

**(Showing the inside at the night club) **

"**As you can see that I'm right inside the club, with all of this techno and everyone dancing and kissing to the same sex, now if you could excuse me I have to blend in with the crowd (takes out a pink feathered scarf, with pink glasses, then he jumps into the crowd of dancers and begins dancing)"**

**Ray: Oh my god (begins to laugh) oh man, well be right back**

**(crowd cheers and news music plays and then fades)**

**Ray: Hey whats with all the phones ringing**

**Henry: It some Sasuke fan girls man…their pissed off about Sasuke beginning gay and all**

**(Henry Oger, a stoner producer who gets all the guest to come to the show, and other things)**

**Ray: Well, what they are saying**

**Henry: They want our blood man….and saying some thing like kill or chopping, I can't understand them**

**Ray: Henry**

**Henry: Yeah…**

**Ray: Are you high?**

**Henry: (stoner laugh) Maybe…**

**Ray: Oh jeez…**

**Ozzy: Hey Ray, were on in 10 seconds**

**(Ozzy Miles, the head person for the camera, and the promo's)**

**Ozzy: 5…4…3…2…1…and were on**

**(Giving the thumbs up, the shows was back again , with the camera giving an overshot at Ray)**

**Ray: Welcome back…if you just joined us we started our story about Sasuke Uchiha sexuality, now we go back to story…**

**(Picture fades and shows that José is dancing on the dance floor and having conversations with the people around)**

**(voice over)José: As I went clubbing with the West Hollywood people, I beginning to ask them some questions about Sasuke Uchiha, and the results are fabulous**

**(shows jose talking to a homo) /sorry if I offend anyone who is homosexual/**

**José: Whats your name**

**Jeffery: My name is Jeffery….**

**José: How long you begin clubbing**

**Jeffery: Nearly 5 years…**

**jose: Have you ever sceen this man in this club (showing a picture of Sasuke)**

**Jeffery: Oh you mean Lil' Sasu**

**jose: Lil' Sasu**

**Jeffery: Oh yeah he comes once and a while**

**Jose: And what does he do**

**Jeffery: whispering into jose ear**

**Jose: Holy shit…are you kidding me, he does that…**

**Jeffery: Yeah and he gave me one once**

**(Jose looks like he was sick)**

**Jose: Bartender….give your strongest drink**

**(voice over) Jose: I couldn't belive what he was saying, Jeffery introduce me to some other clubbers, and what they say that they have sceen Sasuke or Lil' Sasu if you want to call him that, I went to the club owner and talked to him about Sasuke's appearance to the club**

**(Jose interviewing the club owner)**

**Jose: So let me get this straight, your straight, and yet you own a gay club**

**Owner: That's right, I'm married and have 2 boys and 2 girls**

**Jose: And yet you own a gay club**

**(the owner is giving jose a funny looking face) okay now here what I came for, I have to ask you…have you sceen this man in your club (shows a picture of Sasuke)**

**Owner: Yeah, he always comes here when he is done with his music and world tours, and he is one of my best customers in the club**

**Jose: What do you mean best customer**

**Owner: What I mean is that he is a good customer because he buys the clubbers drink and he dances with him**

**Jose; Oh I see then…so you are telling me that he is a 100 gay**

**Owner: Well I can't tell you if he is 100 gay, you just have to go talk to him, and see what he tells you**

**(voice over) Jose: So that's where I went to get to interview with the one and only Lil' Sasu and we did find him at a concert near by one of the Hollywood venues. So we all said goodbye to the clubbers, he headed off towards Lil' Sasu, but when we got there we got blown off by Sasuke, I guess if you want to cover up your sexuality, and they call you Lil' Sasu…I guess you have the right to tell the reporters to,**

**(shows Sasuke facing towards the camera from short but not long distance)**

**Jose: (shouting) Lil' Sasu…Lil' Sasu I have some questions about you beginning gay**

**Sasuke: (flipping jose and the crew off) fuck you!!!!!!!! You fucking pricks…who told you I was gay (rushing towards the crew)**

**Jose: CHESSSE IT EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**(Seeing the camera wobbing around because they are beginning chased by Sasuke, they all get into the car and drives away, camera is now showing Sasuke throwing bottles and anything he can get to throw it at the crew)**

**(voice over) Jose: After that little interaction, I called the manger of Sasuke to see if we can get an interview from Sasuke, explaining these events, but like always…Sasuke bitches out but however the "girlfriend" of Sasuke, Miss Sakura Haruno agreed to let us interview her instead of Sasuke, and how gay is that, so we went back to the venue, and saw Sakura waiting for us. And belivie me guys this girlfriend had a nasty attitude towards me**

**(seeing Sakura drinking water and then putting some gloves on)**

**Jose: Okay Miss Haruno…thank you for your time to let you interview about your friend Sasuke, and now do you feel about this spilling all over the media…because by your looks, you look pissed off**

**Sakura: Of course I'm pissed off, I mean it bad when you have to work everyday and travel around the world, and play concters for 3 hours, but to add the media questioning your sexuality, that's worse. **

**Jose; But we got some facts that he is homosexual…I mean I went to a gay club, and found out he doing all of these things that a straight guy would never do, so there is a chance he might be gay**

**Sakura: Your putting the facts wrong, Sasuke goes to a club once and a while. And he likes to party, that doesn't mean he is a homosexual. And by the way who the fuck put out this stupid rumor about him beginning gay**

**Jose: I don't know who send out that rumor I'm just a reporter**

**Sakura: Well if you find the asshole that send out that rumor; tell him that I will personaily fuck him up for calling Sasuke-kun a homosexual**

**Jose: Why are you making this a big deal , I mean it not like you like him, and all your just a friend of his**

**Sakura: I just trying to protect Sasuke-kun…**

**Jose: Or is it because you like him and your in denial that all the facts are true, but you don't want to hear it, now do you**

**Sakura: That's not it, he is…**

**Jose: He is what Miss Haruno**

**Sakura: My close friend and I can see him getting all (starts sobbing)**

**Jose: Miss Haruno…Dale turn off the camera, (keep it rolling) now. Miss Haruno, the camera is off, and no tell me why are really so protective of Sasuke**

**Sakura: Because I LOVE HIM!!**

**Jose: And all of these reports are also hurting you right**

**Sakura: Yes it is…it's hitting me in the worst way**

**Jose: Miss Sakura, thank you for your time**

**Jose: but we needed to find out more about this so we went back to Kabuto and tell us how much of damage is Sasuke doing to his music career **

**(back to Kabuto)**

**Jose: How bad is the damage that Sasuke is inflicing on himself for not giving a response telling everyone that he is or he is not gay and how bad this touchy topic can hurt a career**

**Kabuto: By the way you have to look at it, Sasuke has no chice but to tell the world that he might or might not be gay, depending on the explaintion he has to say, and by not doing that, he is hurting his music career and just predenting that the whole sexual thing does not exist makes worse. In my nearly 15 years in the entertainment business these touchy topics that really hurt a career, you can lose your sponsors, you lost the trust of the your fans, baiscly the whole world will turn against you if this thing gets bigger and bigger. What Sasuke has to do is that he needs to man up and to explain to his fans, his band members, and the ones he so close to him about the actions that happened…how long was it? We don't know unless Sasuke explains his self**

**Jose: Will he be able to step up and explain all of his actions**

**Kabuto: It's all up to him and him alone**

**Jose: In the following days after I interview everyone, Sasuke band website stated that Sasuke is in a stated of mind that he just wants to be alone, and to see how this outcome will happend**

**(showing a video of Sasuke playing in a concert and giving autographs to the fans)**

**(voice over) Jose: As for the whole Sasuke beginning gay, we have to make sure that Sasuke is straight and has a feish about the gay thing or he must get out of the closet, but however we cannot deny those facts that there is a chance that Sasuke Uchiha might be homosexual, I'm Jose Valdez from The Newsroom…..**

**(in the newsroom, where ray drinking some coffie)**

**Ray: Well this is a sad time for Sasuke, the media is just having a field day with this, and I'm having a blast…now don't you go nowhere because next we have a special guest and we can tell you who it is…maybe it's the Sasuke ready to take my head off or maybe some fans girls of the Uchiha band, either way we'll be right back …**

**Comerical break, now I can't decide who will be the guest in the show give me some names and tell me what they do, as you can see that all of them are either politicians, Athletes, Music Entertainers, Actors, Actress, and so on so give me some reviews and ideas about who will be the guest on "the Newsroom"**

**See Ya!!!!!! **


End file.
